Blindsided: How to Protect Your Relationship, Part 2 - High Risk History

By John H. Thurman Jr., M.Div. M.A., LCMHC

I am a little worked up over the news about Sandra Bullock's husband, Jessie James's cheating on this lovely actress who won an Oscar for Blindsided. Here are some things you can do to prevent having an affair.

Marriage is a commitment, marriage is hard work, and marriage is risky business. In this second installment of Avoiding Extramarital Affair, I will be reviewing personal risk factors you could face.

What are your risk factors for an affair? Hint: We are all at some risk.
In his book Close Calls: What Adulterers Want you to Know about Protecting Your Marriage, Dave Carder does an exceptional job unveiling the personal factors that can contribute to a close call.

High-Risk Family of Origin Issues
• A family history of infidelity
• Single Parent/Step Family
• Physically Abusive/Chronically Conflicted Family
High-Risk Personal Factors
• Sexual Molestation – The National Center for Victims of Crimes suggests that between 20-40 percent of young women and up to 20 percent of young men report having been sexually molested when they were minors.
• Adolescent Promiscuity – Some experts state that this would represent a person who has had six or more partners between ages thirteen to twenty. This is one great reason for abstinence for young people.
• Learning Disabilities and ADHD
• A Lack of Personal Boundaries or a Personality Style that would tend to be very dependent.
• A Lack of a Moral Compass
• An Indulgent Lifestyle

John's #1 recommendation for Affair Recovery is Dave Carder's book Torn Asunder
Live wisely, know yourself,
John Thurman

Looking for a therapist who can help your relationship recover from an affair? Contact John

Socrates said, “An unexamined life is not worth living.”
Proverbs 11:29

Those who bring trouble on their families inherit the wind. The fool will be a servant to the wise.
Holy Bible, New Living Translation ®, copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.