Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Monday, July 29, 2013
Friday, January 7, 2011
Keeping Your 2011 Resolutions
10 ways to Keep Your New Year’s Resolutions by John Thurman
How are you doing on your 2011 resolutions?
According to Dr. John C. Norcross, a full time psychology professor at the University of Scranton and a part-time practitioner, 40 to 45% of adults in the United States will make New Year’s resolutions, continuing a tradition that began in ancient Roman times.
For years, psychologist have done multiple studies on self-change in general and New Year’s resolutions in particular. Making New Year’s resolutions is a valuable opportunity for you to increase the quality of your life.
In fact, 75 percent of New Year’ eves resolvers will be successful in mid-January, 50 percent will still be sticking to it by the end of the month and 40 percent to 46 percent will still be going at six months. Contrary to widely held public opinion, a significant number of New Year’s resolvers do succeed.
What’s more, clinical research shows that you are 10 times more likely to change by making a New Year’s resolution compared to non-resolvers with identical goals and comparable motives to change.
Quite frankly, I was surprised at what the research revealed. On that positive note here are ten things you can do to be a part of the that 46% who keep their resolutions.
Write them down. Be clear and concise. Use the SMART method - specific, measurable, action-oriented, realistic, and time-based. Use a pen and paper because your brain is more engaged when you physically write it down.
Replace a bad habit with a good one.
Cultivate social support, tell someone, show someone.
Take baby steps. Inch by inch anything is a cinch. Small victories lead to bigger victories
Take big steps. Once you have your goals/resolutions put a date and work your plan beginning today.
Decide and engage. As the Nike™ logo says“Just Do It!” Learn to anticipate and overcome the setbacks you may encounter along the way.
Partner up. Have an accountability partner, even it they don’t share the same goals. Check in with each other weekly (in person or by phone)
Celebrate your victories.
Sources:
Norcross, J.C., Mrykalo, M.S., & Blagys, M.D. (2002). Auld lang syne: Success predictors, change processes, and self-reported outcomes of New Year's resolvers and nonresolvers. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 58, 397-405.
Healy, M, (Jan 4, 2011). Say you want a resolution? You can do it with planning and persistance. USA Today.
How are you doing on your 2011 resolutions?
According to Dr. John C. Norcross, a full time psychology professor at the University of Scranton and a part-time practitioner, 40 to 45% of adults in the United States will make New Year’s resolutions, continuing a tradition that began in ancient Roman times.
For years, psychologist have done multiple studies on self-change in general and New Year’s resolutions in particular. Making New Year’s resolutions is a valuable opportunity for you to increase the quality of your life.
In fact, 75 percent of New Year’ eves resolvers will be successful in mid-January, 50 percent will still be sticking to it by the end of the month and 40 percent to 46 percent will still be going at six months. Contrary to widely held public opinion, a significant number of New Year’s resolvers do succeed.
What’s more, clinical research shows that you are 10 times more likely to change by making a New Year’s resolution compared to non-resolvers with identical goals and comparable motives to change.
Quite frankly, I was surprised at what the research revealed. On that positive note here are ten things you can do to be a part of the that 46% who keep their resolutions.
Write them down. Be clear and concise. Use the SMART method - specific, measurable, action-oriented, realistic, and time-based. Use a pen and paper because your brain is more engaged when you physically write it down.
Replace a bad habit with a good one.
Cultivate social support, tell someone, show someone.
Take baby steps. Inch by inch anything is a cinch. Small victories lead to bigger victories
Take big steps. Once you have your goals/resolutions put a date and work your plan beginning today.
Decide and engage. As the Nike™ logo says“Just Do It!” Learn to anticipate and overcome the setbacks you may encounter along the way.
Partner up. Have an accountability partner, even it they don’t share the same goals. Check in with each other weekly (in person or by phone)
Celebrate your victories.
Sources:
Norcross, J.C., Mrykalo, M.S., & Blagys, M.D. (2002). Auld lang syne: Success predictors, change processes, and self-reported outcomes of New Year's resolvers and nonresolvers. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 58, 397-405.
Healy, M, (Jan 4, 2011). Say you want a resolution? You can do it with planning and persistance. USA Today.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Workplace Violence Tip Sheet 1
Tips you need to know about Workplace Violence
By John H. Thurman, M.Div., M.A., LCMHC
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — It happened again today workplace violence in my town...”three killed four injured...three killed...In the past few years many of us have been exposed to workplace violence stories, either directly or indirectly.
Just what is Workplace Violence?
A physical act, actual violence, or threat of violence toward an institution, its staff members, visitors, guests, or vendor’s representatives. It includes intimidation, harassment, and other inappropriate behavior that threatens or frightens employees. (adapted from OSHA workplace violence fact sheet).
There are three types of WPV (Work Place Violence):
Harassment - which is intended to upset or worry the victim. May not be interpreted in the same way by the perpetrators as the victims, yet its abusive nature must not be tolerated.
Threats - Involve an expression of one’s intention to inflict injury.
Attacks - Physical forms involve assault and the most brutal attack results in homicide.
OSHA also reports that homicide the third leading cause of fatal occupational injuries.
So are their indicators of a workplace aggressor?
Yes, according to various researches there are three broad sources or causes of Violence.
Personal causes:
The individual’s behavior, values and socialization
The individual’s mental and physical health, low self-esteem
Habits, substance abuse, Domestic violence & obsessions
Behavioral warning signs
Previous history of violence
Loner, withdrawal, emotional problems
Some type of obsession
Social causes associated with
Perceives social and emotional inequalities
Poverty, violence, crime in society
Social and family disintegration
Profile of the “disgruntled worker” (a summary from The Gift of Fear, Gavin De Becker)
Male, 25-40
History of violence (family or other)
Loner
Owns firearms
Exhibits frequent anger at work
Employment history shows conflict
History of marital, family, and relational problems
Drug or alcohol history
Coping with Threats and Violence ( from the Federal Protective Service U.S. GSA)
For an angry or hostile customer or coworker
Stay calm. Listen attentively
Maintain eye contact
Be courteous. Be patient
Keep the situation in your control
For a person shouting, swearing, and threatening
Signal a coworker, or supervisor, that you need help. (Use a duress alarm or a prearranged code words)
Do not make any calls yourself.
Have someone call security, or police
For someone threatening you with a gun, knife, or other weapon
Stay calm. Quietly signal for help. (Use duress alarm system or code words)
Maintain eye contact.
Stall for time.
Keep talking--but follow instructions from the person who has a weapon.
Do not risk harm to yourself or others
Never try to grab the weapon.
Watch for a safe chance to escape to a safe area.
What to do when Violence Explodes (from Surviving Workplace Violence by Loren W. Christensen)
Flee the area - you need two things to flee successfully: opportunity and an avenue of escape. Exception to the opportunity rule...You have an avenue of escape but not an opportunity. Should you run? Yes, because maybe he is a lousy shot. No, because maybe he isn’t. This is a likely dilemma you could face and one you should think about now, while your heart rate is normal and your thinking is clear. So you decide to flee.
Try to keep object, desks, cabinets, etc-between you and the perpetrator
Don’t zig zag, just run for your life
If you can grab something to use as a weapon without slowing down, do it.
If you can’t get out of the door, go out a window. If you can’t open it, break it.
Whether you’re running from inside a building to the outside, or your work site to the outside, use trees, vehicles and buildings to block you from the view of the perpetrator as you make your escape.
Find a safe place and call 911 (see calling 911)
If you can’t run - hide
Hide
If time permits, choose a hiding place that gives you concealment and cover.
Calling the Police
Don’t assume that someone else has called 911. Multiple calls help the police validate the location.
Here is what the police want to know:
The exact address of the workplace where the incident is occurring
Description of the perpetrator
Location of the perpetrator - building, floor, last seen location, direction heading
Layout of the building.
Weapon: Officers approach a suspect armed with a knife than one with a firearm. They will want to know what type of firearm; handgun, high-tech rifle. Did you see any evidence of explosives or extra ammunition?
Who is he?
How many rounds has he fired?
Has he harmed others?
Did you see a vehicle?
Did he arrive on foot?
Was he dry even though it’s raining outside?
Is anyone hurt?
Where are the injured?
Obey the Police
Remember, the police do not know who you are. When they arrive on an “active shooter” scene their primary mission is to neutralize the threat in order to set a safe perimeter. If the perpetrator is still alive they will probably try to escape with everybody else. If the police tell you to raise your hands and lie down on your stomach, do it without hesitation.
By John H. Thurman, M.Div., M.A., LCMHC
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — It happened again today workplace violence in my town...”three killed four injured...three killed...In the past few years many of us have been exposed to workplace violence stories, either directly or indirectly.
Just what is Workplace Violence?
A physical act, actual violence, or threat of violence toward an institution, its staff members, visitors, guests, or vendor’s representatives. It includes intimidation, harassment, and other inappropriate behavior that threatens or frightens employees. (adapted from OSHA workplace violence fact sheet).
There are three types of WPV (Work Place Violence):
Harassment - which is intended to upset or worry the victim. May not be interpreted in the same way by the perpetrators as the victims, yet its abusive nature must not be tolerated.
Threats - Involve an expression of one’s intention to inflict injury.
Attacks - Physical forms involve assault and the most brutal attack results in homicide.
OSHA also reports that homicide the third leading cause of fatal occupational injuries.
So are their indicators of a workplace aggressor?
Yes, according to various researches there are three broad sources or causes of Violence.
Personal causes:
The individual’s behavior, values and socialization
The individual’s mental and physical health, low self-esteem
Habits, substance abuse, Domestic violence & obsessions
Behavioral warning signs
Previous history of violence
Loner, withdrawal, emotional problems
Some type of obsession
Social causes associated with
Perceives social and emotional inequalities
Poverty, violence, crime in society
Social and family disintegration
Profile of the “disgruntled worker” (a summary from The Gift of Fear, Gavin De Becker)
Male, 25-40
History of violence (family or other)
Loner
Owns firearms
Exhibits frequent anger at work
Employment history shows conflict
History of marital, family, and relational problems
Drug or alcohol history
Coping with Threats and Violence ( from the Federal Protective Service U.S. GSA)
For an angry or hostile customer or coworker
Stay calm. Listen attentively
Maintain eye contact
Be courteous. Be patient
Keep the situation in your control
For a person shouting, swearing, and threatening
Signal a coworker, or supervisor, that you need help. (Use a duress alarm or a prearranged code words)
Do not make any calls yourself.
Have someone call security, or police
For someone threatening you with a gun, knife, or other weapon
Stay calm. Quietly signal for help. (Use duress alarm system or code words)
Maintain eye contact.
Stall for time.
Keep talking--but follow instructions from the person who has a weapon.
Do not risk harm to yourself or others
Never try to grab the weapon.
Watch for a safe chance to escape to a safe area.
What to do when Violence Explodes (from Surviving Workplace Violence by Loren W. Christensen)
Flee the area - you need two things to flee successfully: opportunity and an avenue of escape. Exception to the opportunity rule...You have an avenue of escape but not an opportunity. Should you run? Yes, because maybe he is a lousy shot. No, because maybe he isn’t. This is a likely dilemma you could face and one you should think about now, while your heart rate is normal and your thinking is clear. So you decide to flee.
Try to keep object, desks, cabinets, etc-between you and the perpetrator
Don’t zig zag, just run for your life
If you can grab something to use as a weapon without slowing down, do it.
If you can’t get out of the door, go out a window. If you can’t open it, break it.
Whether you’re running from inside a building to the outside, or your work site to the outside, use trees, vehicles and buildings to block you from the view of the perpetrator as you make your escape.
Find a safe place and call 911 (see calling 911)
If you can’t run - hide
Hide
If time permits, choose a hiding place that gives you concealment and cover.
Calling the Police
Don’t assume that someone else has called 911. Multiple calls help the police validate the location.
Here is what the police want to know:
The exact address of the workplace where the incident is occurring
Description of the perpetrator
Location of the perpetrator - building, floor, last seen location, direction heading
Layout of the building.
Weapon: Officers approach a suspect armed with a knife than one with a firearm. They will want to know what type of firearm; handgun, high-tech rifle. Did you see any evidence of explosives or extra ammunition?
Who is he?
How many rounds has he fired?
Has he harmed others?
Did you see a vehicle?
Did he arrive on foot?
Was he dry even though it’s raining outside?
Is anyone hurt?
Where are the injured?
Obey the Police
Remember, the police do not know who you are. When they arrive on an “active shooter” scene their primary mission is to neutralize the threat in order to set a safe perimeter. If the perpetrator is still alive they will probably try to escape with everybody else. If the police tell you to raise your hands and lie down on your stomach, do it without hesitation.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Marriage Survival Tips
Don't underestimate the dangers of relationships outside of your marriage. Don't underestimate where your brain can take you.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Getting Your Head Right about Life
Do the bugs on your windshield keep you from seeing the horizon?
I hear it every week in my work as a counselor...”I want to do better.” I want to feel better.” “I want to have more for my family.” “I am sick and tired of my past tripping me up.”
Why is it that so many people seem to be stuck? Could part of it be the fact that we, as a culture don’t want to take personal responsibility. Are we looking for just the right pill, the right therapist, book, church or job? Or, could it be that we have become encased in the negativity of the culture.
Did you know that there are four ingredients for success in any endeavor. Four simple principles that can change the course of your life. Dr. Tom Barrett, author of Dare to Dream, Work to Win, does an exceptional job of expanding on these basic ideas.
Ingredient # 1 - Determine what you want. Be very specific about what you want out of your business/ministry before you decide what you will put in it.
Measurable goals create focus, energy, and passion
A clear dream does at least two things:
It creates perspective
It develops perseverance
Ingredient # 2 - Decide what you are willing to reschedule or give up in order to get what you want. It is so important to be clear about what you want out of your business/ministry before you decide what you will put into it.
Ingredient # 3 - Associate with people who will help you get what you want.
Ingredient # 4 - Have a plan that works, then work the plan.
Now that we have the key ingredients lets mix them together. How do you blend these ingredients in a way that will product a positive impact in your life?
Learn what you need to do next!
I hear it every week in my work as a counselor...”I want to do better.” I want to feel better.” “I want to have more for my family.” “I am sick and tired of my past tripping me up.”
Why is it that so many people seem to be stuck? Could part of it be the fact that we, as a culture don’t want to take personal responsibility. Are we looking for just the right pill, the right therapist, book, church or job? Or, could it be that we have become encased in the negativity of the culture.
Did you know that there are four ingredients for success in any endeavor. Four simple principles that can change the course of your life. Dr. Tom Barrett, author of Dare to Dream, Work to Win, does an exceptional job of expanding on these basic ideas.
Ingredient # 1 - Determine what you want. Be very specific about what you want out of your business/ministry before you decide what you will put in it.
Measurable goals create focus, energy, and passion
A clear dream does at least two things:
It creates perspective
It develops perseverance
Ingredient # 2 - Decide what you are willing to reschedule or give up in order to get what you want. It is so important to be clear about what you want out of your business/ministry before you decide what you will put into it.
Ingredient # 3 - Associate with people who will help you get what you want.
Ingredient # 4 - Have a plan that works, then work the plan.
Now that we have the key ingredients lets mix them together. How do you blend these ingredients in a way that will product a positive impact in your life?
Learn what you need to do next!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Hug the Monster: Manage Your Fear
Dr. Charles Lowery, speaker and psychologist was doing a talk on overcoming fear a few years ago and in his talk he used the acrostic F.E.A.R.
F - Forget
E - Everything
A - And
R - Run
So true. When we experience fear a little almond shape part of our brain, the amygdala, fires up and gives is a couple of options. The first is to run, the second is to freeze.
In his book, The Survivor's Club, author Ben Sherwood investigates how humans survive various traumatic events. On page 227, the author gives a wonderful word picture.
"Without a doubt, fear is the most ancient, efficient, and effective security system in the world. Over many thousands of years, our magnificently wired brains have sensed, reacted, and then acted upon every imaginable threat. Practically speaking, when you manage fear, your chances improve in almost every situation. But if your alarm goes haywire, your odds plummet. For survival, then, here is the bottom line. If you are scared out of your mind, try to remember the Air Force Survival Schools mantra: Hug the Monster. Wrap your arms around fear, wrestle it under control, and turn it into a driving force in your plan of attack.
"Ours is not a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind."
F - Forget
E - Everything
A - And
R - Run
So true. When we experience fear a little almond shape part of our brain, the amygdala, fires up and gives is a couple of options. The first is to run, the second is to freeze.
In his book, The Survivor's Club, author Ben Sherwood investigates how humans survive various traumatic events. On page 227, the author gives a wonderful word picture.
"Without a doubt, fear is the most ancient, efficient, and effective security system in the world. Over many thousands of years, our magnificently wired brains have sensed, reacted, and then acted upon every imaginable threat. Practically speaking, when you manage fear, your chances improve in almost every situation. But if your alarm goes haywire, your odds plummet. For survival, then, here is the bottom line. If you are scared out of your mind, try to remember the Air Force Survival Schools mantra: Hug the Monster. Wrap your arms around fear, wrestle it under control, and turn it into a driving force in your plan of attack.
"Ours is not a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind."
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