Keep You Sugar Plumbs from Turning to Prunes

“And visions of sugarplums danced in their heads.” My question for you is have your sugar plums turned to prunes?

The Holiday season can be a time of joy and dread. It can be a time of anticipation and a time of some heavy-duty stress. While the joy of the season is around the celebration of Christ’s birth, too many of us get sidetracked with the pressures of the season and the short days of winter.

Rather than being excited about the season we show about the same enthusiasm as a sentenced pirate about to walk the plank. We feel dread, anxiety, exhaustion and isolation. If you feel this way you could be a victim of the Christmas blahs, the Hanukkah malaise, the Kwanza ennui, and for the neo pagans amongst us, the Solstice slump.

Here are some simple suggestions, some humorous, some serious, to keep “your sugarplums from turning into prunes.”

Remember the reason for the season. Re-read the Christmas story, go to a worship service, attend a Christmas Play, and listen to some uplifting seasonal music.

Keep your expectations in line with reality. One of the reasons things go south in so many relationships, particularly this time of year, is undiscussed and undisclosed expectations get violated. If you dare to expect a perfect holiday, then you are probably setting yourself up of a huge disappointment.

Do you remember the dad character from the movie A Christmas Story, he was obsessed with eating the Christmas turkey. He smelled it as it cooked and as it was cooling down on the kitchen table he picked a small pieced and savored it. You might recall that in the very next scene the neighbor’s dogs run through the house and completely destroy the turkey. The dad is heart broken and them mom is resourceful. They end up having Peking Duck and a Chinese restaurant on Christmas Day. Lower your expectations so you’re not frustrated year after year.

Chill out and go with the flow! Relax, laugh take a step back and unwind.

Rememeber, regardless of what your therapist says, the Christmas season is not about problem solving. Deal with family issues another time. You have to choose how you are going to feel. You do not have to be a slave to old memories.

If you are going to be spending a lot of time with family, be intentional about building in breaks for the family. The holidays can be a very special time for families to be together, but you don’t need to overdose.

Watch the food intake. The holidays are a time when many people pick up weight. You can still have the goodies of the season just watch the servings and the sizes. If meal preparation is a bear for you, try making some changes. Don’t let the eating and/or drinking be the focus of the gathering. Avoid getting loaded with spirits, sweets and fats at the same time, there is nothing worse than being bloated, loaded and wired all at the same time. If you do overdo it, be sure to wear your elastic pants or your expandable Dockers – avoid the mid-meal unbuttoning at cost – it is humiliating to you spouse and kids.

Give yourself permission to not have perfection. Remember, Jesus was born in a stall in a barn (cave). He came into this world in a place filled the odors of any farm. He had no tree, no lights and no Christmas buffet.

My wife and I have the opportunity to be in several homes over the holidays and each home has its own unique look. Some homes will have theme trees and the Christmas decorations that look like they came right of HGTV. Other homes have a more personal appeal. Our Christmas tree is a very eclectic one in that we have ornaments that represent out life journey as a family. The proverbial ornaments the kids made. Ornaments we purchased when we were first married and ornaments made for our family by people who have gone on to heaven. So when our tree goes up, it tells the journey of our family. These ornaments can be reminders, of the ebbs and flows, the good and bad days of our live. Enjoy the good things of the holiday.

If you are typically reminded of old, unresolved pain and guilt from your past, seek the forgiveness of the Lord and start making some new traditions.

Take your medication, supplements and vitamins.

Only watch It’s a Wonderful Life one time. It is a great tearjerker and has a wonderful message, but enough is enough. If you are not careful you could end up comparing your life to George Bailey’s. Just remember the Clarence’s theology – “every time a bell rings and angel gets its wings – it will make you feel better regardless of your theological persuasion.

Get outside and exercise. Join the gym – meet new people – force yourself out of the office on a daily basis if at all possible.

Shop for the really important people first.

Buy yourself a toy you always wanted.

Think before you speak. Make a list of “topics to avoid.” If you are feeling down please consider ruling out all discussions on: your job, personal life, health, religion, politics, the past, the future, and most often the present. Topics that are almost always safe: the weather, sports, gardening and the other person’s life. God gave us two ears and one mouth-go figure. Use your words to help others feel good about themselves-you could be surprised as to how it will make you feel.

Stay loose, be flexible. 21st century families are always changing due to job situations, childbirth, illness, job demands, divorce, and the return of work for former stay-at-home moms. Tradition doesn’t have to mean rigidity.

Look and pray for creative solutions to problems. Just because you have always done it that way before doesn’t mean you have to continue to do it that way now.

Mom and Dad – let your married kids develop their own holiday traditions – no guilt trips.

Check out My Twenty Holiday Stress Busting Tips

(c) 2007 John Thurman