Do the bugs on your windshield keep you from seeing the horizon?
I hear it every week in my work as a counselor...”I want to do better.” I want to feel better.” “I want to have more for my family.” “I am sick and tired of my past tripping me up.”
Why is it that so many people seem to be stuck? Could part of it be the fact that we, as a culture don’t want to take personal responsibility. Are we looking for just the right pill, the right therapist, book, church or job? Or, could it be that we have become encased in the negativity of the culture.
Did you know that there are four ingredients for success in any endeavor. Four simple principles that can change the course of your life. Dr. Tom Barrett, author of Dare to Dream, Work to Win, does an exceptional job of expanding on these basic ideas.
Ingredient # 1 - Determine what you want. Be very specific about what you want out of your business/ministry before you decide what you will put in it.
Measurable goals create focus, energy, and passion
A clear dream does at least two things:
It creates perspective
It develops perseverance
Ingredient # 2 - Decide what you are willing to reschedule or give up in order to get what you want. It is so important to be clear about what you want out of your business/ministry before you decide what you will put into it.
Ingredient # 3 - Associate with people who will help you get what you want.
Ingredient # 4 - Have a plan that works, then work the plan.
Now that we have the key ingredients lets mix them together. How do you blend these ingredients in a way that will product a positive impact in your life?
Learn what you need to do next!
Monday, April 26, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Hug the Monster: Manage Your Fear
Dr. Charles Lowery, speaker and psychologist was doing a talk on overcoming fear a few years ago and in his talk he used the acrostic F.E.A.R.
F - Forget
E - Everything
A - And
R - Run
So true. When we experience fear a little almond shape part of our brain, the amygdala, fires up and gives is a couple of options. The first is to run, the second is to freeze.
In his book, The Survivor's Club, author Ben Sherwood investigates how humans survive various traumatic events. On page 227, the author gives a wonderful word picture.
"Without a doubt, fear is the most ancient, efficient, and effective security system in the world. Over many thousands of years, our magnificently wired brains have sensed, reacted, and then acted upon every imaginable threat. Practically speaking, when you manage fear, your chances improve in almost every situation. But if your alarm goes haywire, your odds plummet. For survival, then, here is the bottom line. If you are scared out of your mind, try to remember the Air Force Survival Schools mantra: Hug the Monster. Wrap your arms around fear, wrestle it under control, and turn it into a driving force in your plan of attack.
"Ours is not a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind."
F - Forget
E - Everything
A - And
R - Run
So true. When we experience fear a little almond shape part of our brain, the amygdala, fires up and gives is a couple of options. The first is to run, the second is to freeze.
In his book, The Survivor's Club, author Ben Sherwood investigates how humans survive various traumatic events. On page 227, the author gives a wonderful word picture.
"Without a doubt, fear is the most ancient, efficient, and effective security system in the world. Over many thousands of years, our magnificently wired brains have sensed, reacted, and then acted upon every imaginable threat. Practically speaking, when you manage fear, your chances improve in almost every situation. But if your alarm goes haywire, your odds plummet. For survival, then, here is the bottom line. If you are scared out of your mind, try to remember the Air Force Survival Schools mantra: Hug the Monster. Wrap your arms around fear, wrestle it under control, and turn it into a driving force in your plan of attack.
"Ours is not a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind."
Friday, February 5, 2010
Be Safe in Your Car
Be Safe
By John H. Thurman Jr., M.Div., M.A.
Walk circumspectly.
I am normally a positive, upbeat guy, but don’t be misled. I am very aware that we live in a dangerous world. As a professional who deals with workplace violence and victims of violent crimes I want to share with you some BE SAFE practices that you can initiate today.
The suggestions come from, Loren W. Christiansen’s book, How to Live Safely in a Dangerous World. Loren is an expert in police defensive tactics. He began his law enforcement career in 1967 as a military policeman in the U.S. Army. In 1972 he joined the Portland Police Bureau in Oregon, where he still works today.
Loren holds several black belts in karate, jujitsu, and arnis, and has written dozens of articles and seven books on the martial arts. Here are some of his safety tips for driving alone:
Have your cell phone on and with you at all times.
Keep windows up and doors locked.
Keep gas in your tank.
When stopped at a traffic light keep your car in gear.
Stay alert.Talking on the phone and playing with your GPS are distractions that should be avoided when driving.
If you are ever followed, make sure you check your review mirror on a regular basis. Stay on a well-lit, busy street and make two extra turns to make sure. If you have a cell phone, dial 911 and tell the police what is going on, where you are, and what direction you are heading. Give the operator a description of your car, your license plate and as much of a description of the suspicious car as you are able, then follow the operators instructions.
If you are forced off of the road, don’t get out of the car. Make sure the doors are locked and the windows are up. The lean on the horn, long and hard. Call 911.
When parking choose a place that is well lit and where there are people walking around. Once you are parked, do a 360-degree search of your new surroundings before you get out. If anything makes you feel uneasy, fearful or hesitant, then don’t get out. Always lock your car, carry your keys and never leave the car running.
When returning to your car make sure you are aware of your surroundings just like you did when you got out of the car. If at all possible have someone either walk you to the car or have them watch you as you move towards your car. Check the car out before you get in, if all is clear head home.
As you near your house, watch your rearview mirror for any vehicle that looks out of place. If there is one, don’t go home. Drive to the nearest fire or police station, or any open business where there are lots of people.
By John H. Thurman Jr., M.Div., M.A.
Walk circumspectly.
I am normally a positive, upbeat guy, but don’t be misled. I am very aware that we live in a dangerous world. As a professional who deals with workplace violence and victims of violent crimes I want to share with you some BE SAFE practices that you can initiate today.
The suggestions come from, Loren W. Christiansen’s book, How to Live Safely in a Dangerous World. Loren is an expert in police defensive tactics. He began his law enforcement career in 1967 as a military policeman in the U.S. Army. In 1972 he joined the Portland Police Bureau in Oregon, where he still works today.
Loren holds several black belts in karate, jujitsu, and arnis, and has written dozens of articles and seven books on the martial arts. Here are some of his safety tips for driving alone:
Have your cell phone on and with you at all times.
Keep windows up and doors locked.
Keep gas in your tank.
When stopped at a traffic light keep your car in gear.
Stay alert.Talking on the phone and playing with your GPS are distractions that should be avoided when driving.
If you are ever followed, make sure you check your review mirror on a regular basis. Stay on a well-lit, busy street and make two extra turns to make sure. If you have a cell phone, dial 911 and tell the police what is going on, where you are, and what direction you are heading. Give the operator a description of your car, your license plate and as much of a description of the suspicious car as you are able, then follow the operators instructions.
If you are forced off of the road, don’t get out of the car. Make sure the doors are locked and the windows are up. The lean on the horn, long and hard. Call 911.
When parking choose a place that is well lit and where there are people walking around. Once you are parked, do a 360-degree search of your new surroundings before you get out. If anything makes you feel uneasy, fearful or hesitant, then don’t get out. Always lock your car, carry your keys and never leave the car running.
When returning to your car make sure you are aware of your surroundings just like you did when you got out of the car. If at all possible have someone either walk you to the car or have them watch you as you move towards your car. Check the car out before you get in, if all is clear head home.
As you near your house, watch your rearview mirror for any vehicle that looks out of place. If there is one, don’t go home. Drive to the nearest fire or police station, or any open business where there are lots of people.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Get a Grip on Perseverance
Get a Grip on Perseverance
By John Thurman
Remember the story of The Little Engine that Could?
Whether you read it as a child, or like many from my generation, saw the cartoon on Captain Kangaroo, you will recall that it is a wonderful lesson on perseverance.
One of the most memorable lines from the story is when the Little Engine says, “I think I can. I think I can.” It is a wonderful story about a small railroad engine that had seen better days. As newer, faster, stronger trains were developed, the little engine felt minimized and was assigned to the rail yard. Events unfold, and like any Hallmark movie, the little engine, through courage and perseverance saves the day.
How do you get through tough times? Do you freeze with fright? Run from fear? Or do you persevere and win the day? Your attitude towards adversity determines what you do with it. No thought lives in you mind rent-free. Every thought you have either enriches your life or limits it.
By now you are either curious or a little angry at me, so allow me to show you where I am going. Over the next few weeks I will be doing a series of short articles on how to develop resilience in your personal life, your relationships, and in your business endeavors. Here is the outline I will be following over the next several weeks.
Persist no matter what
Endure discomfort
Request help from others
Steadfastly hold on to your hopes, dreams, beliefs and values
Envision victory
Very consistently maintain your focus
Embrace adversity as your teacher
Refuse to quit
Enjoy and celebrate every inch of the journey
“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan, “Press on,” has solved, and always will solve the problems of the human race.”
Calvin Coolidge, 30th President of the U.S.
As we begin to move in this direction of developing and strengthening your personal ability to persevere and develop resilience. I want to remind you of some significant, life changing truth from the Scriptures.
“Fix your thoughts in what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8 (NLT)
Part of moving in this new direction may require some changes in how we think about life, ourselves, God, and others.
While you and I live in a free country and are free to choose what we think about, many of us ourselves destructive things that can limit, at least temporarily, the big dreams God has for us.
Here is a exercise you can do. For the next five minutes, pay attention to almost any conversation and listen for any distorted, toxic self-talk, blaming, whining, commiserating, condemning, and justification. You will likely hear people argue in favor of their most cherished limitations. You might even notice that some will insist they are not being negative, but realistic, giving an honest description of their lives. They have convinced themselves of their own internal press.
The problem is when we fail to employ the truths of verse like Philippians 4:8, we can set in motion a series of outcomes, both large and small that makes us impotent in the face of life’s challenges. The good news is that you and I can begin to change today.
As we begin this series, let me throw down a challenge.
Where you have been, what you have done, and where you are now matters far less than where you are headed. If you continue to look into the rear view mirror of your life, you will have a wreck and possibly miss some life opportunities. If you continue to identify with both current and prior performance by constantly thinking and talking about it, then where you have been, where you are, and where you are going will become one and the same. This will show itself in your marriage, your business, and even your hobbies.
Interested in moving forward?
Through this series of articles, I will show you simple, yet powerful, principles you can begin to use to help you strengthen your ability to persevere.
The Apostle Paul said it best, “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have reached perfection. But I press on... I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race...” Philippians 3:12-14 (NLT).
(c) 2010 John Thurman
By John Thurman
Remember the story of The Little Engine that Could?
Whether you read it as a child, or like many from my generation, saw the cartoon on Captain Kangaroo, you will recall that it is a wonderful lesson on perseverance.
One of the most memorable lines from the story is when the Little Engine says, “I think I can. I think I can.” It is a wonderful story about a small railroad engine that had seen better days. As newer, faster, stronger trains were developed, the little engine felt minimized and was assigned to the rail yard. Events unfold, and like any Hallmark movie, the little engine, through courage and perseverance saves the day.
How do you get through tough times? Do you freeze with fright? Run from fear? Or do you persevere and win the day? Your attitude towards adversity determines what you do with it. No thought lives in you mind rent-free. Every thought you have either enriches your life or limits it.
By now you are either curious or a little angry at me, so allow me to show you where I am going. Over the next few weeks I will be doing a series of short articles on how to develop resilience in your personal life, your relationships, and in your business endeavors. Here is the outline I will be following over the next several weeks.
Persist no matter what
Endure discomfort
Request help from others
Steadfastly hold on to your hopes, dreams, beliefs and values
Envision victory
Very consistently maintain your focus
Embrace adversity as your teacher
Refuse to quit
Enjoy and celebrate every inch of the journey
“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan, “Press on,” has solved, and always will solve the problems of the human race.”
Calvin Coolidge, 30th President of the U.S.
As we begin to move in this direction of developing and strengthening your personal ability to persevere and develop resilience. I want to remind you of some significant, life changing truth from the Scriptures.
“Fix your thoughts in what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4:8 (NLT)
Part of moving in this new direction may require some changes in how we think about life, ourselves, God, and others.
While you and I live in a free country and are free to choose what we think about, many of us ourselves destructive things that can limit, at least temporarily, the big dreams God has for us.
Here is a exercise you can do. For the next five minutes, pay attention to almost any conversation and listen for any distorted, toxic self-talk, blaming, whining, commiserating, condemning, and justification. You will likely hear people argue in favor of their most cherished limitations. You might even notice that some will insist they are not being negative, but realistic, giving an honest description of their lives. They have convinced themselves of their own internal press.
The problem is when we fail to employ the truths of verse like Philippians 4:8, we can set in motion a series of outcomes, both large and small that makes us impotent in the face of life’s challenges. The good news is that you and I can begin to change today.
As we begin this series, let me throw down a challenge.
Where you have been, what you have done, and where you are now matters far less than where you are headed. If you continue to look into the rear view mirror of your life, you will have a wreck and possibly miss some life opportunities. If you continue to identify with both current and prior performance by constantly thinking and talking about it, then where you have been, where you are, and where you are going will become one and the same. This will show itself in your marriage, your business, and even your hobbies.
Interested in moving forward?
Through this series of articles, I will show you simple, yet powerful, principles you can begin to use to help you strengthen your ability to persevere.
The Apostle Paul said it best, “I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have reached perfection. But I press on... I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race...” Philippians 3:12-14 (NLT).
(c) 2010 John Thurman
Friday, December 18, 2009
Holiday Stress Busters, or How to Keep Your Sugarplums from turning to Prunes
The Christmas season can be a time of joy and dread. It can be a time of warm memories, and joy or a season of sadness and depression.
So if you are feeling like you are a victim of the Christmas blahs, the Hanukkah malaise, the Kwanza ennui, and for the neo pagans among is, the Solstice slump here are sixteen things you can do to lower your Holiday Stress
1. Remember the reason for the season.
2. Keep your expectations in reality.
3. Chill out, go with the flow. Relax!
4. Give yourself a break from your own perfectionism.
5. Take your medications, supplements, and vitamins.
6. Get outside and exercise.
7. Shop for the really important people first.
8. Buy yourself a toy you always wanted, but don't use your credit card to get it.
9 Think before you speak. Try making a list of "Topics to Avoid"
10. Look and pray for creative solutions to problems.
11. Do something-stay active.
12. FOR STEPFAMILIES: gather on neutral ground-meet at a place that belongs to no one.
14. Go to a church serivce.
15. Take some healthy time to be alone.
16. Choose to have a Blessed and Merry Christmas.
So if you are feeling like you are a victim of the Christmas blahs, the Hanukkah malaise, the Kwanza ennui, and for the neo pagans among is, the Solstice slump here are sixteen things you can do to lower your Holiday Stress
1. Remember the reason for the season.
2. Keep your expectations in reality.
3. Chill out, go with the flow. Relax!
4. Give yourself a break from your own perfectionism.
5. Take your medications, supplements, and vitamins.
6. Get outside and exercise.
7. Shop for the really important people first.
8. Buy yourself a toy you always wanted, but don't use your credit card to get it.
9 Think before you speak. Try making a list of "Topics to Avoid"
10. Look and pray for creative solutions to problems.
11. Do something-stay active.
12. FOR STEPFAMILIES: gather on neutral ground-meet at a place that belongs to no one.
14. Go to a church serivce.
15. Take some healthy time to be alone.
16. Choose to have a Blessed and Merry Christmas.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Sgt Kimberly Munley, Sheepdog and Hero
I doubt Sgt Kimberly Munley reported to her duty station expecting anything other than a routine day when she began her shift at Ft. Hood. Little did she know that her world as well as the world of countless soldiers and Department of Defense civilians would turn into a violent toxic mess that day.
On that day she moved from being a police sergeant to a national hero. Why? Because Sgt Kimberly Munley is a sheepdog. From what I have read, she did what she was trained to do as an armed police officer in an "active shooter" situation she ran towards the shooter and engaged him and shot him.
LTC David Grossman, author of On Killing and On Combat, and various articles on the impact o media violence, says there are three types of people in the world. I want to focus on two.
The wolf, whether in their right mind or not has a mission to intimidate, destroy and kill sheep. The sheepdog, on the other hand, loves the sheep and is willing to face danger and run toward trouble in order to protect the sheep and neutralize the wolf.
Thank God for Sheepdogs like Sgt. Munley
On that day she moved from being a police sergeant to a national hero. Why? Because Sgt Kimberly Munley is a sheepdog. From what I have read, she did what she was trained to do as an armed police officer in an "active shooter" situation she ran towards the shooter and engaged him and shot him.
LTC David Grossman, author of On Killing and On Combat, and various articles on the impact o media violence, says there are three types of people in the world. I want to focus on two.
The wolf, whether in their right mind or not has a mission to intimidate, destroy and kill sheep. The sheepdog, on the other hand, loves the sheep and is willing to face danger and run toward trouble in order to protect the sheep and neutralize the wolf.
Thank God for Sheepdogs like Sgt. Munley
Monday, November 2, 2009
Leadership Crisis in the Church
As a church ministry team consultant I regularly talk with pastors about the challenges they face in ministry. As with any profession there are certain themes that seem to always be near the surface.
George Barna has done an exceptional job of noting trends and areas of interest for church leaders. His latest book focuses on some of the key issues leaders face in 2009-2010
The Barna Group, the gold standard of Church life recently released a powerful study on Church Leadership. Here is a sample with a link:
According to the research, the specific behaviors that leaders do most poorly include:
* Negotiating agreements that maximize benefits at minimal cost
* Attracting new resources to the organization – especially human and financial capital
* Developing and implementing individualized developmental plans for emerging leaders
* Nurturing robust relationships with existing colleagues, demonstrating sufficient care and attention to their needs
The research also discovered that leaders sometimes perceive themselves to be more effective at specific aspects of leading than their performance suggests. A prime example relates to vision. While an overwhelming majority of leaders believes that they are very effective at using the organization’s vision as their chief decision-making filter, the study found that one of the greatest weaknesses of most leaders is relying on the vision to protect the organization from over-commitment. “Leaders tend to point to their vision as the reason to say ‘yes’ to opportunities,” explained George Barna. “But our research showed that there is much less willingness to use the vision as a reason to say ‘no’ to opportunities that are not in the best interests of the organization.” Link to the article
George Barna has done an exceptional job of noting trends and areas of interest for church leaders. His latest book focuses on some of the key issues leaders face in 2009-2010
The Barna Group, the gold standard of Church life recently released a powerful study on Church Leadership. Here is a sample with a link:
According to the research, the specific behaviors that leaders do most poorly include:
* Negotiating agreements that maximize benefits at minimal cost
* Attracting new resources to the organization – especially human and financial capital
* Developing and implementing individualized developmental plans for emerging leaders
* Nurturing robust relationships with existing colleagues, demonstrating sufficient care and attention to their needs
The research also discovered that leaders sometimes perceive themselves to be more effective at specific aspects of leading than their performance suggests. A prime example relates to vision. While an overwhelming majority of leaders believes that they are very effective at using the organization’s vision as their chief decision-making filter, the study found that one of the greatest weaknesses of most leaders is relying on the vision to protect the organization from over-commitment. “Leaders tend to point to their vision as the reason to say ‘yes’ to opportunities,” explained George Barna. “But our research showed that there is much less willingness to use the vision as a reason to say ‘no’ to opportunities that are not in the best interests of the organization.” Link to the article
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